Certainly, one of the most important aspects of moving (or traveling) to a new country is the concept of expat culture shock. Perhaps you’ve heard of it, perhaps not, but no matter what your knowledge of it is, when you move to a new country, it will hit you. Culture shock has an impact on all of us who travel and live in new countries and makes us better people.
But what actually IS expat culture shock?
What is Expat Culture Shock?
Merriam-Webster defines culture shock as “a sense of confusion and uncertainty sometimes with feelings of anxiety that may affect people exposed to an alien culture or environment without adequate preparation.”
As we’ll see, culture shock can certainly be more than negative feelings, but we’ll get to that. You’re probably wondering, “What does this actually mean for me?”
Anytime you go to a new place, be it a store, a restaurant, a new city, state, or country, you’ll experience new things. Imagine yourself in a new restaurant with friends who love it there. To them, its food and service are amazing. You, who may not want to disappoint your friends or the kind folk working at said place, may feel a bit of trepidation. What do I order? Will it be good? Is there a specific way to eat it? You may also find yourself excited and thinking, “Yes, I cannot wait for this as I have wanted, for so long, to try this place [or this type of food].”
Either way, you’re experiencing a form of culture shock, be it excitement or anxiety. You are in a new place with new experiences that are foreign to you. It is the same when someone moves to a new place.
People typically start with a feeling of excitement. This place or country is new to them, which comes with the feeling of opportunity. Maybe it’s an opportunity to explore new things, redefine yourself, or start over. No matter the reason, this is what is called Stage 1 of Culture Shock or, more commonly, The Honeymoon Phase.
The Honeymoon Phase – Stage 1
Just like newlyweds have the absolute time of their lives on a honeymoon, traveling and moving to a new place is a time of excitement. Everything is new: food, customs, languages, perhaps. All of this leads to a world full of opportunity.
You’ve probably also met someone who has said, “Well, when I was in ________, we ate the best ___________ I’ve ever had.” Were they really the best? Maybe, but that’s not the point. The point is how we feel when we experience it.
50% of marriages end in divorce. After some time, the excitement wears off, and things feel repetitive or stagnant. However, everything was amazing for those first few glorious weeks (or months or possibly years – fingers crossed!). Your partner was the most amazing person. Marriage was the best choice you’ve ever made!
Moving abroad is like that. When you move to a new place, the new experiences lead to what I like to call the “Traveler’s High.” This is kind of like the running high people talk about when running long distances. Every experience in your new place seems amazing! From the restaurants (“Wow, what a cool menu!”) to the grocery stores (“I wish we had this back home!”) to the cultural sites, it’s all great! These contribute to the traveler’s high and help to make it feel as though you’ll never want to leave.
Like a marriage, this first stage has no set length of time. If you’re just traveling on a shorter trip, it might be the entirety of it! The epitome of Stage 1 is traveling and asking yourself, “Should I move here?” If you’ve kept asking that, even as you leave, then you’ve been a part of Stage 1—the Honeymoon Phase.
When you actually move to a new place, this stage might last a little longer. Perhaps it’s 3-4 weeks, maybe even a couple of months. Eventually, however, we all settle into Stage 2 – or what I call The Rage Stage.
The Rage Stage – Stage 2 of Expat Culture Shock
This stage of expat culture shock is the one that keeps people from staying abroad. This stage is the yin to stage 1’s yang. It is pushing to stage 1’s pull. The Rage Stage is the time when all we want to do is be anywhere else.
In stage 2, everything sucks. You don’t speak the language? This place is dumb. They don’t have a type of cheese you like? This place is dumb. You DO speak the language, but everyone still knows you’re a foreigner? This place is dumb, and I hate it here. These are some simpler experiences that we all might have in this stage, but it’s so much more.
Stage 2 of Expat Culture Shock can be absolutely devastating, especially if you don’t have a support system. It can easily send people into depression, especially if they know they won’t be returning home anytime soon. Maybe we miss family or food or our old bed. It doesn’t really matter. We end up in a mindset that turns everyday actions into negative experiences.
Stage 2 doesn’t even need to be related to where you are. For example, you forget your keys at home. Something as simple as this can be enough to set someone off into a Stage 2 mindset and ruin a day, week, or month.
As with the Honeymoon phase, there’s not necessarily a defined length of time someone might experience the Rage Stage. It can be dependent on the experiences you have in a new place. Say you get sick or break a leg and have to spend time in the hospital and recovery. You’ll likely enter Stage 2 quicker and possibly be stuck here longer. Or your honeymoon phase might go on and on, and you’ll think it never ends. Then, one day…you find yourself screaming internally about something menial. Either way, this stage could go on for days, weeks, or months. It’s this stage where people learn whether or not traveling or living abroad is suited for them.
One trick for removing yourself from the Rage Stage is to keep reminding yourself that this culture isn’t yours. That does not make it wrong, but simply different. And different is good! We often find that many ways of living in other countries are more efficient than the ones we’re used to (we’ll touch on this later).
Another Stage 2 trick is to have that support system. If there are others you can speak with, preferably others in the country you can somewhat commiserate with, you’ll find you’re not alone in these experiences that are driving you bonkers. Consistently speaking with family and friends back home can have the opposite effect and drag you further into Stage 2. We are not advocating ignoring your family and friends, but know that constant communication with them makes leaving all the more difficult and can cause your homesickness to grow worse.
Stage 2 can hit the most experienced of travelers and expatriates, and as we’ll see, it often times comes and goes as we get acclimated to our new locale.
Acclimation – Stage 3 of Expat Culture Shock
The third stage, or acclimation, is the road to recovery in the world of expat culture shock. You have a better idea of what to expect and are starting to understand the culture more deeply, even if there are parts you might not enjoy. You might be making more friends or starting to discover your favorite places to go.
The acclimation stage is a combination of emotions. There are still occasional highs of the Honeymoon phase if you get to do something new or experience something exciting. There are days of rage, but these stage 2 moments don’t last as long. At this stage, you’re able to better recognize them and work to circumvent those feelings.
In the acclimation stage, you start to climb out of the depths of despair you felt in the Rage Stage. Before long, you’ll have started to accept the world in which you live.
Stage 4 – Acceptance
It is the stage many expatriates find themselves in when they are full-blown, living in a new country for an extended period of time. Now you know what to expect. You’ve become used to the nuances and idiosyncrasies in this new culture that differ from your own. Your respect for this new place is right at home as with your own.
When you hit acceptance, you know what you find good and bad, what you like, and what drives you nuts. You develop routine daily habits as you would back in your home country and start to go with the flow. There is likely a core group of friends and daily routines and habits (which, as expats, we can also grow tired of). These help you manage day-to-day frustrations. You might also speak some of the language.
In the acceptance stage, you might still hit the honeymoon phase or have Rage days. However, at this point, those days feel no different than something upsetting, as if you were in your own country. Your new country is now “home”.
Beyond this, some believe there is another stage that few of us ever reach. This is a native-level stage. To be here, it’s generally regarded that you need to be at a native or near-native level of fluency in the local language. Many, if not most, of your friends are local and other items of this nature. Many expats will never reach this stage. It’s not that most you can’t get here, but many tend to move too frequently or don’t put in the language effort. As such, this stage is often left off of lists and/or isn’t official.
Once you accept where you are, it can make going home difficult. For those expats who spend many years abroad, returning home can often seem even more daunting.
Need Travel Insurance?
Travel with the confidence of access to healthcare anywhere in the world with SafetyWing, travel and medical insurance designed for travelers and digital nomads, customizable to your needs. Get yours at SafetyWing.com
We are SafetyWing affiliates, and if you purchase through our link, we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
Reverse Culture Shock
While we might not expect this to happen, reverse culture shock is very real. It is exactly what it sounds like: experiencing the idea of expat culture shock in your own culture—where you were likely born and raised. It is a weird concept, but it happens to those who return home after spending many years abroad.
As we saw in previous stages, we become acclimated and accept the new ways of life in other countries. Sometimes, the differences may be more frustrating than we are used to at home. Others might be so much more efficient that we wish our home countries would utilize the same ideas.
All of this leads to feeling like a foreigner in your own country. Your old support system may no longer be there or may have changed and adapted without you as you surely did without them. You might have gotten used to banking or driving differently in a new place. You might struggle with cultural concepts that are not present where you were abroad. Whatever it is, the cultural shock of moving back home is very real.
Like moving to a new country, reverse culture shock can take you through all the same stages from the honeymoon phase (though this might be less intense than when moving abroad), the rage stage (this one is very real and can lose a long time), to adjusting and getting acclimated.
It’s weird to feel like an alien at home, and for many, it can be too much to bear, so a return abroad is inevitable. Yet for others, the adaptation and acclimation phase happens quickly, and before long, it’s business as usual.
How Do We Benefit?
As mentioned in the beginning, culture shock can be beneficial to many of us.
As we experience new cultures and ideas, we start to create a more open and accepting mindset of these ways of life, ideas, and thinking. You might begin to appreciate how another country or group of people does something differently than you. You may realize that your way of thinking or approach to a problem might not be the only way and may not be the best way.
The more you travel and live in new places, the more experiences you have to help you broaden your thinking and appreciate all the ways in which people and cultures are different. That open-mindedness leads you to be a better, kinder person.
Of course, for those who struggle with traveling or living in a new place for whom stage 2 is too much, expat culture shock can have the opposite effect and force people further into their own ideologies and beliefs. However, we find this is certainly not the norm. We see friends, colleagues, and fellow travelers broadening their horizons and striving to be more understanding, appreciative, open-minded, and empathetic for the world around them.
If you are considering moving abroad or have recently done so and have questions about fitting in or culture shock, schedule a call with us and we are happy to provide an outsider’s view of your situation and give you the best advice we can, based on our experiences!